


Self As Monster

by Samuraiter



Category: Dissidia: Final Fantasy
Genre: F/M, First Time, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 09:24:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samuraiter/pseuds/Samuraiter
Summary: Cloud and Terra both hold monsters in their hearts, but those monsters have different meanings for each of them.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Red_Terra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Terra/gifts).



The sight of the real Terra had become a memory that seemed to await Cloud every time he closed his eyes, a light in both the dark spaces of his heart and the darkness of the world that had been corrupted by Chaos and filled by his wish for destruction.

And he had first witnessed that light in the midst of a duel, him against her. He had made the mistake of thinking her ... delicate. Fragile. Frail. He had sensed the magic in her like a beacon, but she still had seemed like a green-haired, porcelain-skinned doll that might break if he but struck it once. Yes, thinking that had been his mistake.

Because she had put up a fight. And that had been before she transformed.

No, _transform_ did not capture the sight. She had _unleashed_ herself, removed her limits, come at him using all that she had. And he had been no match for all of that power.

 _Because ... I had to hold back. Not because she can't take it. But because I'm afraid. There's a monster inside me, too. Not like hers. It's not really me. It wants to be. But I can't let that happen. Every moment of every day, I've got to hold it in check. But her? That's ... who she really is. It's power, it's light, it's ... emotion. Joy, maybe. That's her_.

She had defeated him. For once, he had welcomed the experience.

After that, they had talked. Like normal people. And it had seemed absurd, perhaps. Neither one of them had any claim to being normal. But they became friends, and they started a journey together, searching for their Crystals in order to stand up to Chaos.

He had no idea when things changed between them, but they became more than friends. They developed trust naturally, as if they had everything in common.

 _But we didn't, did we? We weren't even from the same world. Maybe it was because we'd both lost everything, had to find it again. More than once. I've ... seen things. So has she. Neither one of us ever really wants to open about it, but it's always there. Makes the air heavy, but ... it's okay. Because we both know it's there, that it's like that. So I don't mind if that's the way it is. Neither does she. That's why this works_.

Their first kiss had happened shortly after they had learned that the end of the cycle approached, as they had gathered their friends and resources for the march against Chaos in his domain. It had been during a quiet moment – quick, unpretentious, simple. But it had made his heart beat so fast that he almost did not feel like himself.

Only a short journey to go before they faced Chaos himself.

So it made sense that she had him in her arms, looking up at him, the light of magic in her eyes almost reminding him of the Mako that made his own eyes shine. Except that the light in her eyes was organic. A part of her. Natural. _Supposed to be there_. Not like the horror that had been spliced into his body, grafted there, pretending to be him.

Cloud Strife was a monster in human skin, trying his hardest to stay human.

Terra Branford was something beautiful, more than human, and she always had been.

How could he _not_ love her?

 _She doesn't judge me_. He lowered himself onto her, kissing her, relishing the feel of skin against skin, listening to her breath, his heightened senses telling him more about her body than he could immediately process. _She accepts me as I am_. In his arms, as she arched her back and let him softly kiss and lick her breasts, she still felt delicate, though he knew her to be anything but that. _She knows what it's like to be ... more, to not fit, even if her reasons are different_. The taste of her sweat was sweet to his lips.

"Cloud." Her whisper seemed unnaturally loud to him. "Is it time?"

" _Yes_." Not desperation. Need. Hunger. After having to keep his emotions in check for so long, he was unused to feeling anything so intense, but there it was.

In his arms, then, she transformed, radiating light. Energy. Power. Possibility. And yet she was still there, real, seeming delicate, almost fragile in his embrace. Cloud could not quite reconcile the fact that he was holding a creature that he could scarcely behold without having to shield his eyes. But he was. And that creature was still Terra.

"Don't hold back." Her voice had a different sound to it in that form – or, perhaps, not so much different as ... richer. Fuller. More complete. Her real voice. As if her human self could only access so much of it. "You don't _have_ to hold back any more, Cloud."

"Yes. But –" He controlled his breathing. He wanted her. All of her. But – "You ... be on top. Please. I want to ... look at you." It was the best way he could phrase it. It would be more than looking, but he did not have any words that could correctly sum it up.

"All right." He rolled to lay on his back, and she sat atop him. "Are you ... ready?" He nodded, resting his hands on her hips as she eased his hard cock into her body, the moist heat of her making his breath catch. Again, though she seemed like a being of light and magic, she still felt impossibly real to his touch, inside and out.

 _This –_ His hips almost seemed to move on their own, and she moved hers in time with his. _– is what I want to remember. Even if I lose everything else about this ... other world, this is the one thing I want to take with me_. He reached up to touch her, his fingertips leaving trails of light on her skin as she sighed. _Even if I lose her name, the fact that we ever met, I want ... this feeling. Everything about it. Feeling complete. Maybe for the first time in my life_. For once, he did not have to worry about control. The alien presence in his mind recoiled from the radiance that was the real Terra.

She looked down at him as he made love to her, and the eyes of her Esper body seemed ... depthless. Endless. Like looking up into the night sky, so long ago, and seeing the stars in their infinite variety, more than he could count. Except that, this time, he was close to one star in particular. It should be burning him. Blinding him. Killing him. But it did not. It was impossibly beautiful, and it washed all of his pain away.

The sight of ecstasy on her face as she came from his touch etched itself in his memory, her body seeming translucent, full of light – of stars, perhaps. It made his own orgasm seem almost like a pale afterthought, the vision of her still bright against his retinas as he trembled, gritting his teeth, filling her, his cock spasming inside her until she collapsed upon him, still joined to him, holding him tightly, her body hot and sweaty against his as her transformation gradually faded, leaving her as she had been before.

After a little while, she murmured into his chest, "It's ... hard to maintain for very long."

"I'm not complaining." He looked up at the ceiling, trying to see past it, perhaps, but only seeing her as she had been moments before. "You held it long enough."

She smiled wearily as she looked at him. Human again. Still beautiful. A curious echo of the majesty of her real self. "There's no going back now, you know. No matter what happens next, nothing can erase what's happened here. And I mean ... all of it. Not just this, but everything that's passed between the two of us." She rested her head on his chest again. "If we still have anything left of it when Chaos falls, we'll figure out what to do ... after that's done. If I can, I'd like to ... _stay_." A word he had wanted to hear.

"So stay." A half-smile – from him, who never smiled. "I'm not going to stop you." He turned on his side as she nestled into his embrace, looping one arm around her waist. Again, she seemed small. Delicate. Like a spiderweb the wind might tear away.

But she was strong. Unique. No one like her in this or any world.

And he needed her.

 _Stay. Please_.

 **END**.

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite pairings, and, if you enjoy this story, I have done several others (not on AO3) for Cloud and Terra as a pairing:
> 
> [Antirequiem](http://fan-flashworks.dreamwidth.org/424132.html)   
>  [Autodemonium](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/66568.html?thread=3805192#cmt3805192)   
>  [I Am I](http://fan-flashworks.dreamwidth.org/466333.html)
> 
> Thank you for this lovely request, and I hope you enjoyed it. :-)


End file.
